I deactivated my personal Facebook page about a week ago for lots of different reasons and I haven't missed it one bit. Until today. It may be because my husband left this morning to go out of town and I am already feeling a little lonely or it may be because that is my only source of adult contact throughout the day and those "likes" or comments, sad as it may be, make me feel connected. So today, against my better judgment, I entered my email and password and ventured back to Facebook Land.
I instantly found myself scrolling through my newsfeed and felt my heart sink at some of the posts. In the span of about ten minutes I was angry, hurt, happy, and annoyed. Some of the posts made me laugh and some had me "sssh-ing" my three year old so I could read a political rant that I knew would lead me to factcheck.org. What was I doing??? This was a mistake. I should not have made the trip back to Facebook Land. I can honestly say that not having a personal Facebook has made a world of difference in my life. While I do feel less connected and do miss my "friends" and their posts, it has me asking (in my best Carrie Bradshaw voice), does Facebook keep us connected or keep us from connecting?
Being without Facebook has made me aware of a lot of things. One of the most important things I have learned about myself is how much I used it to reinforce beliefs about myself. A few weeks ago my son turned one and I threw his party together at the last minute. I had some Mommy guilt about that but when I saw just how cute it turned out, the Mommy guilt went away and I gave myself a pat on the back as I uploaded pictures of the super cute table and decorations to Facebook. I waited and waited for my "friends" to hit the like button and tell me just how cute it turned out. When I didn't get the comments I was expecting I actually said to my husband, "Maybe it's not really cute because nobody commented on it on Facebook." That's when I knew that I was relying too heavily on the approval of my Facebook friends. This is just one example. I could give you a whole list but this was my Ah-Ha! Moment.
I wish I could say that I am a confident mom who doesn't care what anyone thinks about me, my children, my life, or my parenting. It's just simply not true at this point. I hope that as I get older and gain confidence as a woman and mother I will not need the approval of others as much. I believe I am on the road to that and deleting Facebook was just the first step. I am making it a personal goal for myself to reach out more to people and develop real relationships rather than simply Facebook friendships.
Join me in my goal! I challenge you to personally reach out to someone today.
No comments:
Post a Comment