Where We Stand

I have been pretty open with the fact that we are trying to expand our family. We always knew that we wanted our kids extremely close in age and we began trying for a second baby when Walker was only three months old. Ideally, our kids would be a year apart. I knew that there was only a slim chance of me getting pregnant while I was breastfeeding. My doctor was very open with the fact that there is only a 1% chance of getting pregnant while breastfeeding for the first six months. When the baby turns six months old the chances of getting pregnant while breastfeeding go up to 6%. I have come across a lot of people who do not know that while you are breastfeeding, your cycle does not typically return for a long period of time. Breastfeeding mothers release a hormone called Prolactin that causes the cycle to be delayed. Some people get their cycle back after a month and I have heard of some people not getting it back for two years. For me, my cycle returned in September 2010 when Walker was ten months old. Of course I was not happy to see it return. I had gone 19 months without this annoyance but I was a bit relieved because I thought we would finally get pregnant right away. This didn't happen for us.

I went to my yearly appointment in January and my doctor told me that if I wasn't pregnant in the next couple of months that I would need to come back in for some testing. March came and went and there was no sign of my cycle. I thought for sure that I was pregnant. I have never skipped a menstrual cycle. I tested four times that month, every few days, and all my tests were negative. Finally, on April 4th, my cycle showed up. I was shocked and more determined than before. I made an appointment on March 31st to see my doctor and my appointment was Tuesday April 5th. My doctor walked in and said, "We've got to get you pregnant!" Yes ma'am, that is the goal.

She immediately wanted to put me on Clomid but I explained to her that we are not interested in treatment at this time. Here is the tricky part. I feel the need to stop my story here and clear something up. The first thing I want to make perfectly clear is that I use facebook and my blog to keep my close family and friends informed about things going on in my life. I did update my status about this situation for a few reasons. The first reason is what I have already stated, that I use Facebook to keep my close friends and family in the loop. Sure, I could call them all personally but honestly, this isn't the type of thing you want to talk about over and over and over. The second reason I shared this is because I have a lot of friends who are fighting this same fight. I have several friends who are having problems getting pregnant and we have formed a bond over this. Now, I have apparently ruffled some feathers over some statements I have made and feel the need to clarify them, especially since MY opinions have cost me at least one friend.

I have stated that Chris and I "do not believe in fertility treatments". That is our belief FOR OUR FAMILY. I believe in everyone's right and ability to do what is best for THEIR FAMILY. I believe that fertility treatments work and I have seen the proof of what they can do for someone struggling to have a child. I am in no way judging the decisions that people make for themselves and their own family. I would appreciate the same lack of judgment but apparently that is too much to ask of some people. For us and OUR FAMILY, fertility treatments are not something we are interested in at this time. We already have one amazing little boy and any other children we are given will be bonuses for us. We are extremely lucky to have one child and we thank God that he entrusted this precious life to us for at least a little while. We believe there is a plan for our family and we will honor that plan. With that being said, these are thoughts today. I cannot say that we will not change our minds in the future but for now, we feel lucky that we were given the opportunity to parent Walker. Although we want to give Walker a sibling more than anything in the world, we will be perfectly happy being a family of three if that is God's plan for us. We support and pray for any of our friends who choose fertility treatments as the plan for their family. What is right for one family may not be right for another and we should all be understanding and supportive of each other.

My appointment with the doctor went fine. She wants me to come back on April 25th for some testing to see if I am even ovulating. She told me that ovulation tests do not actually tell if the egg was released. She said that the ovulation tests just predict if your body is going through the motions of preparing for ovulation. The only way to test is by doing bloodwork. If the tests show that I am ovulating, she will diagnose Secondary Infertility. Secondary Infertility is unexplained infertility in women who have already had a child or children. If I am not ovulating, therein lies our issue and we would have to figure out the cause.

So that's where we stand in our quest to expand our family. I never thought that this journey to expand our family would lead to friends not speaking to me. With that being said, we will stay true to our beliefs and we will do what is right for us and our family. In the meantime, we will stay in amazement of this precious little boy who came to us 16 months ago. No matter what the outcome, we can say that we are the lucky ones.