A "Mom Job"

I have been meaning to write this post for a while now but I have not done so for fear of it coming off as venting or mean spirited.  I hope I can express my heart on this topic so that it does not come off in that way.  I have mentioned before that I started this blog because I wanted to show the "real" parts of parenting.  One of those "real" parts that I have experienced is competition among mothers.  I am guilty of feeling threatened by other mothers.  I am guilty of judging other mothers.  I am guilty of comparing myself to other mothers (like, REALLY guilty).  I am guilty of feeling inadequate as a mother.  So I understand all of those feelings.  I also understand word vomit better than many people because I am twenty-seven years old and it has taken me a long time to truly learn how to think before speaking.

  I took my son to a birthday party a couple of weeks ago.  We were all having a great time and the child's mother and I were making small talk.  She started asking me what my husband and I do and I told her that I worked at my son's preschool and I went on about how much I loved my job and being able to be there with my sons while they are learning.  She replied, "I don't have one of those mom jobs.  I work with computers."  Did you catch that? A mom job.  I felt the sting right away but brushed it off as me being uber sensitive, because I know that I am, but that comment stayed on my mind and my heart and the more I thought about it the more it bothered me.

I felt like my job was somehow less important all of a sudden.  Like I was inadequate for not having a "real job" as opposed to just a "mom job".  But the truth is that I love my job.  It is a real job.  And it is a mom job, I suppose, because I am a Mom.  I am a full-time mom and that is a real job too so if you're keeping count, it looks like I have two real jobs.  I wonder if that comment bothered that mom when she heard it out loud.  I also wonder when comments like this will stop bothering me.  The truth is that mothers are all just doing the best they can.  Every decision made is weighed carefully and nobody wants to feel inadequate as a mother or woman.  I know my job as a teacher is an important one and I am frustrated at myself for letting a comment make me doubt that even for a second.

It is so important for us, as women, to be mindful of the things that we say.  We need to build each other up and be kind.  Motherhood is not a competition.  There is no right way and wrong way to do things.   We made a lot of sacrifices for me to be able to stay home with my boys and I love my jobs - both of them. Working with computers is important but so is working with two year olds.  Both are hard, both take lots of patience, both take knowledge, both take skill, and both are real jobs.